Where does the time go? I would have said that I did not knit for a few days but in retrospect it was probably more likely a couple of weeks. My fingers got more tingly and painful not less. I suppose that was to be expected with the last chemo, cumulative misery and all that. At least I am getting better now, and there is knitting in my hands.
So, as you can surmise, there is not yet much to report. Not even one sleeve has yet been finished for the Raspberry Confection cardigan, although I had such great hopes.
Let me then distract you with other things. On the good news front, I have a new bag for my knitting tools. It is a little bigger than the bag I was using before, which will prove useful. I love it in all its felted sheepy goodness.
And then there is a disappointment; that is perhaps the bigger news.
Say farewell to the summer sunset sweater. I finished this last December. It was never really worn. Don't ask me why I didn't wear it in the spring, I have no answer. I only know that I attempted to wear it last week and my efforts were met with disappointment
In retrospect looking at the finished measurements of the sweater, I probably should have made the smallest size, (I made the medium) but I doubt it would have made much difference in terms of my disappointment level, it still would have been far too large, the small would have 10 inches of positive ease. At that time I knit this, I was 30 pounds heavier than I am now, and even though the medium was oversized, it did not have 10" of positive ease, even though there is more than that now. Currently I feel like a child playing dress up in her mother's closet.
I do realize that in the small photo inset, I am wearing the top with wide cropped chinos, which may not be the best look. I thought of trying it with narrow pants and a turtleneck, in hopes for future wear, but the results were no more promising.
I realize however now, that although I do not mind sweaters with positive ease, and like a long skimming columnar look; I am not fond of sweaters that are boxy and oversized through the shoulders. This project was probably doomed to failure from the beginning. I would have been happier with a sweater in a slightly different shape, perhaps fitted through the shoulders, with a short sleeve. It could be boxy below the armscye. But somehow my understanding of this aspect of my sense of style, of what I am comfortable wearing, did not click until recently. I struggled with why some sweaters got constant wear and others languished. Although some part of me knew the problem, it still didn't really click in my head. There is something about the purging of the chaff of life that brings clarity.
The question now is whether I am going to simply give this sweater away as is or unravel it. I thoroughly enjoyed knitting it, and have no regrets on that front. I will not reknit this sweater in a smaller size, but I could use the yarn for another project. Or will I? Perhaps it is sometimes best to let the adventures of the past remain there, in the past and move on.
I am somewhat concerned that some more recently finished sweaters will also be too big. I am 20 pounds lighter than I was when I finished the Back to the Future cardigan in June. Abigail, shown above however, is closer to my current weight and the cardigan is looser on her than it was on me. My weight has been stable the last three weeks, neither up nor down, but I am still in treatment, and I would like to lose another 5 pounds, maybe 15, but only at whatever rate I can manage in order to keep it off. I will also be happy to stay where I am now, which still may require more re-knitting than I am prepared to accept today. In a month or more the idea may well have settled in. Although every old and beloved sweater in my closet will not be ripped, I will rip out that lovely cashmere and reknit Back to the Future. I want to wear this cardigan, and I suppose it is a good thing that I have given myself time to accommodate myself to that particular future development.
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