I am apparently not really a multi-focused knitter even though I have two projects on the needles at the moment and another that is not yet finished. I can blame this, at least partially, on the fickleness of the knitter's mind, but this would not really be accurate. The simple truth is that on any given day the mind, the heart, the body even, are geared in a particular direction, and this knitter must go with the flow.
In terms of the Stephen West shawl, I am ready to begin clue 3, the brioche section, but the truth is that there were several evenings when I was simply too exhausted for anything more complicated than simple garter stitch. And so the blanket has been progressing and the shawl languishing.
I am in no rush to finish the blanket; I knew that this would be a long-term project. Even on large needles, a queen-sized blanket is an endeavor. At the moment however, I am fascinated with blanket knitting and the colors of this blanket. I can commit to the idea that I will not start the fourth block before picking up the shawl again. Perhaps that will be the state of blanket progress, one block at a time. Ten blocks or sections, ten sessions of blanket knitting, each probably longer than the previous, as the size of the blocks seems to grow with the size of the blanket.
Last night I was actually alert and focused enough to begin the shawl, but I wanted to knit the blanket. Garter stitch felt like a reward for a day well-done, a soothing path at the end of a busy day in the midst of a busy time of year. I have intentionally spent the last several years pulling back from holiday madness, even more so this year, yet my attention remains pulled in many directions. This is also partially because I am still in the process of rebuilding energy, as well as repairing and rebuilding the underlying structure of routines that make life flow smoothly, especially in times of increased distraction and stress, but which partially collapsed during my cancer treatment. The process of rebuilding is always exhausting, hence the need for structures and maintenance in the first place, but only a fool would believe she could build a structure that could completely block chaos from entering her life.
Hence also the need for Advent. Advent is a time for reflection, and the need for reflection in the midst of social gaiety seems particularly apt this year. For this knitter, garter stitch provides a meditative process, an invitation to reflection, that suits this particular moment.
In terms of other distractions, Aimée Gille's book Worsted has arrived and is residing with my knitting on the sofa in the television room. When I feel restless, or my fingers need a break, I pick it up and peruse the pages. I could happily knit and wear every single project in this book with few modifications, with the exception of fitting issues, and that is a rare thing in my experience. At the moment it is all stuff of dreams, reminding me of my younger self: poring over the Sears Christmas Book as a child while dreaming up whole worlds and lives with each page of merchandise. So too these sweaters.
I am not about to abandon my current projects, and quite frankly, as I sit, the blanket square now large enough to just barely cover my lap with my feet tucked under me, I look forward to the day that I snuggle under a beautiful warm blanket made all the more beautiful because I knit it myself, just as I look forward to a warm woolen shawl wrapped around my shoulders on a chill evening, and I imagine all the things I could still knit: from sweaters to shawls, to linen tanks and tea towels.
Tis the season of hope and dreams.
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